December 2011
146 posts
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121 hours
I am human.
Meant to bend, meant to break.
My will is stronger watch it take
me past five hundred,
past one thousand.
Until I define myself.
Eternal happiness inside my mind,
is the only drug I need.
One of a kind.
I got invited to Thursday..... not TEN-MO boooooo
I don’t belong, singing these anthems. This fever is cunning. Deadly, it’s running straight for the exit, detoured through my veins. Telling me to Get the Fuck Out. I don’t recall how it all started. I tripped on a bass line. Now my guitar screams loud about living, loud about love, loud about loathing myself.
When all is said and done.
When all we’ve said, ...
62 hours
I wish you knew the angry, hotheaded me, the person who snaps at his family, isn’t me. I’m disgusted too. But I’ve been much better with my mom the last few weeks because I haven’t been high or coming down around her.
I regret not being the person I was raised to be. I used to be the politest child. I’m gunna do it damnit.
=D
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53 HOURS!!
I’m really happy. I spent a nice afternoon at a coffee house reading me some ‘ARRY POTTAHR (i’m on the 3rd book again)
I spent the evening singing in my apartment. It felt so good. Coldplay, Train, the Early November, The Scene Aesthetic.
When I actually try, I think I sound lovely.
I feel so much better sober. I don’t think I’m ever going back. I don’t need...
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Love is real. It binds two souls for life. Real love.
But take heed, because if we don’t grow together, we’re always bound to grow apart.
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there are things from my past
I think will help my sobriety if I told you.
If you’re ever ready, you know my number.
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“The writings on the wall, you’ve read that I’ll be gone, but if you...”
– Why can’t you look me in the eyes one last time?
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i know i cant
Ask for another shot. But just keep me in mind, cause you’ll be in mine.
Just in case.
I'm really glad
I deleted a lot of what I posted earlier. 29.5 hours. FUCK YES.
23 hours
since ive been numb
Please kill me
i’m already dead. i can’t put food in my mouth without gagging.
i can’t live without food for another week. my only regret is not having friends who can come check on me.
i’ll give tomorrow for any day in my past, anything that stops the pain.
i can’t handle crying 24/7. it’s getting worse to work and i keep having to go to the bathroom more to not cry.
if...
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please realize that i always wanted you to be with your friends
please don’t blame me, i’m already dead inside.
14 hours sober
if i get out of work early…. i’ll probably kill myself
and ps i haven’t had a real meal in days
is this dying?
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my eyes are so puffy they sting
my migraine won’t pass
I’ve been sober for four hours….
only three years too late
and i feel like scum making you smoke. i should have never started. it got out of hand and still is.
sober 2012
i sent an email years ago because i didn’t want someone’s death on my hands, i couldn’t imagine what it meant to you. i can only hope it helped save her life. ill be forever haunted either way.
please forgive me one day
and i’ve begun crumbling to pieces
it’s been really tough lately
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to just be able to say
merry christmas
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now everybody's singing
la la la la, la la la la
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typeytimes:
I want to be moved mentally, let’s have intellectual conversations about current events, books, and politics. I want to be moved creatively, let’s take photos, make art, and write together. I want to be moved physically, make my body tremor with the caress of your fingertips. I want to be moved emotionally, let’s discuss our past, our present, and our future and be moved to tears.
...